How to overcome shyness and social anxiety just by playing a few simple games.
How one man went from extreme social fear to becoming a top shyness coach.
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Have you ever wanted to initiate a conversation with someone but didn’t know how? There are always times when I see someone I want to start a conversation with but am not exactly familiar with what I should say or how I should go about making the first move. This is frustrating because it has led me to miss out on opportunities I would otherwise been able to capture if I just simply knew what to say and how to say it.
Have you ever wished for your network to be bigger than it is but didn’t know how to grow it? Well my good friend John Genovese, author of the Personal Goal Communicator and the developer of The Networking Note Cards System for building rapport, has put together a program that not only helps you to increase your network but transforms your paradigm in the way you connect with people.
Think about this… let’s say I made you a bet. I bet you that you can’t increase your contact base by at least 50 people in the month of February. It doesn’t matter what’s at stake, all that matters is if you think you can win the bet or not.
Well, I’ll tell you what if you took John Genovese’s Breaking the Ice Accelerator Program or, BIAP for short, you would surely win the bet. Here is why: John is putting all of his major projects on hold for the month of February and taking a handful of fortunate individuals by the hand and guaranteeing them a minimum increase of 50 new contacts in their network or their money back. These individuals are serious students who want to learn the secrets of getting everything they want from their conversations.
Not only is there a 100% money back guarantee but the guarantee lasts for Six months! So the participants have five whole months to get their money back after going through the Program and testing out every tactic, tip, and technique they learn.
So why am I taking time to share this with you? Simple. I have never seen a program like this before where a networking guru takes a month out of his life to make sure that his students excel at making the contacts they need to get them one step closer to their goals.
Initiating conversations is probably one of the most important life skills and when John took me through the program I felt that I, for the first time in my life, understood what it meant to be a successful communicator. Just by using the visualization technique that John has taught me has allowed me to increase my business by 10% during the first week of using it! This was possible through the relationships I made when out in public.
I’ve just been reading a forum post by David McKenna about how he’s improving his self-consciousness. Well done David!
Here’s an excerpt:
“im confy with people looking at me.
i decided put all my effort and all my focus into overcoming the self conciousness aspect of SA (and forget about the rest, relationships etc…) and try to overcome it.”
I just found a useful leaflet about social anxiety published by the NHS in the UK.
Here’s an excerpt:
“People who suffer from shyness or social anxiety often believe that
other people will think badly of them or that people will be
judging them. They think that they are being closely observed by
other people and they would like to give a good impression. At the
same time they may fear that they are not as good as other people
and can’t ‘come up to the mark’.”
Don’t you just hate it when you’re at a party and you just feel too anxious to talk to anyone.
I just read a forum post by someone about that problem and here’s what he said:
“ I was at a party today with 50 coworkers and all I could do is curl up against the wall like a worm before I eventually left within 5 minutes of arriving. I was intimidated by the women there. I had no problem with the guys. But I had no one to talk to so instad of wallbanging, I left. I could not introduce myself to the women (I am new at this job)
A party of course is the perfect place to try to take more of a fun approach. It seems weird at first, but you’ll soon relax and even start to enjoy yourself, trust me.
That’s what my e-mail newsletter is all about, not taking social anxiety too seriously (it doesn’t deserve it) and actually having fun while getting over it.
I’ve just found an interesting forum thread about social anxiety and eye contact.
Here’s an excerpt:
“For me, one of the most debilitating and frustrating things that happens is my inability at times to make proper meaningful eye contact with people. I don’t mean the type where you want to keep your head down, but the sort when you can’t hold eye contact and you are so nervous when you are doing it that you hold your breath and can’t hear what the other person is saying. It has taken over my life, but I have learnt to deal with it most of the time. The problem is that other people don’t understand it.”
I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I decided it would be a good idea to speed my computer up by reinstalling Windows. Unfortunately this was a much longer and more stressful exercise than I had envisaged.
My computer’s working again now, although unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be a great deal faster.
Because of that I’m afraid my social anxiety crushing fell by the wayside a bit, but I’m back now and more determined than ever to overcome this.
I’ll give you another update soon.
Best Wishes,
Joe Braddock
P.S. To find out more about how I’m overcoming social anxiety and how you can to, sign up for my free newsletter below:
I’ve just found a web page that gives some good examples of what social anxiety is.
Here’s an excerpt:
“A man finds it difficult to walk down the street because he’s self-conscious and feels that people are watching him from their windows. Worse, he may run into a person on the sidewalk and be forced to say hello to them. He’s not sure he can do that. His voice will catch, his “hello” will sound weak, and the other person will know he’s frightened. More than anything else, he doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s afraid. He keeps his eyes safely away from anyone else’s gaze and prays he can make it home without having to talk to anyone.”
I’ve just found an excellent blog post with 85 techniques to help you to overcome shyness.
There’s some really great stuff there and I’d recommend that you take a look.
Here’s an excerpt:
ShyBusters
Don’t tell strangers - As a general rule, unless you’ve been advised otherwise by a responsible mental health professional, don’t tell people that you are shy. Save the revelation for people who are important to you, like relatives or close friends.
Allude to your shyness with a laugh - Sometimes you may feel that you are too shy to handle a situation. If you run the risk of people thinking you’re shirking a duty or just being mean, then it’s best to half tell them. Toss it off with a smile and a speedy explanation that the reason you can’t say “yes” is because you’re shy. Make it short and sweet - no more than one sentence.
Mention it with a “So what?” attitude - Find an appropriate time in a conversation and introduce the subject of shy people. Toss your shyness off casually, and it will slide off your listeners like a satin sheet. Having told them in a carefree manner could come in very handy later. When they ask you to do something or go somewhere, laughingly remind them, “C’mon, I told you I was shy.” It sounds so much better than, “I can’t do that. I’m too shy.”
One excellent social anxiety strategy I’ve been using recently is ‘Slow Talk’.
I’ve always tended to blurt out what I’m saying as quickly as possible - mostly to just get it over with I suppose. But this technique forces you to slow down and speak slowly and clearly.
It’s important to build up slowly - practice by yourself at first and then start doing it around the people you feel most comfortable before introducing it around everyone.
It’s certainly helping me and I’d encourage you to try it to.
Talk soon,
Joe Braddock
P.S. To find out more about how I’m overcoming social anxiety and how you can to, sign up for my free newsletter below:
This is the first weekend since I started blogging about social anxiety and it’s going pretty well.
I went to see a friend yesterday and went to a car boot sale today. I used The Social Strategies which helped, but I think I could do with a bit more preparation beforehand.
My friend isn’t someone I feel totally comfortable joking with and talking about personal things with (no one really is), but I would like him to be and I can certainly improve the situation.
I think planning to create a situation where I can express my sense of humour next time and feeling prepared for it would be a big help as I find it difficult to come up with stuff at the time, and even if I do I can be aprehensive about saying it (although that’s certainly an area where the Social Strategies are helpful.
